German Invasion

Due to a certain unfortunate incidents the owner of this Blog had taken an abrupt leave. In the meantime I a GERMAN girl from Lüneburg (part time CIA undercover agent) have taken over. My name is PIA. Yeah yeah I know what you all are thinking....there are zillion songs in India with that name but fyi its a Italian name too. So now you know my name and slowly and gradually you will get to know bit more of me and I will get to know a bit more about you all.

THATS ME WHEN I WAS IN CIA COLLEGE
FRESHERS PARTY :D

I landed in Kolkata just few days back on a private jet. I was picked up from the airport by a junior agent and he took me to this safe house in Southern Avenue. What little I got to see of Kolkata on my way from the airport- out of the tinted glass was lots of people and lots of lights. It seemed a tremedously busy city atleast compared to where I come from. I have seen busier cities in my life but this one felt different.
Tuk Tuks which you all call Auto here is like evil bumble bee. It swarms out of control and stings. Dodging bullets are more easier than dodging Tuk Tuks. The Porsche that I was almost got a scratch. Now the Porsche is not mine its owned by the agency but if my ass is in it then it becomes my headache.
The place where I was taken it was not so crowded and it had lots of trees near it. I checked the topography on my i phone (a model which is custom made for CIA and will never get launched) and it seemed interesting. But by default rather than enjoying the place I started checking out the escape options. Its my bad habit but believe me this habit saved me from a lot of tricky spots.
At the safe house I was greeted by this Bengali family. They family name is Basu. The old Mr Basu is a professional masseur and Mrs Basu is a housewife who is also world's best dry ice bullet maker the same type of bullets which killed Trotsky. As a matter of fact it Mrs Basu's mother who made that particular one bullet for that comi (at least that what we were taught at CIA school). They were very warm people and they offered such lovely hot food. Both the Basus are brilliant cook. After dinner I spent some leisure time and chated with Mr Basu about different types of Massage Oil. His knowledge of the 'Spots' amazed me. After he offered his services to me I politely told him 'may be later' and retired for the night.
I waited till I heard the Basus snore and then in the dark I opened my i pad (again custom built by Steve himself). Well I didn't come here for holiday, I was on an assignment. I was given a face and the url to this blog. I tracked all details that I could get from the blog and within two hours I found this blog's owner's name, address, account numbers ...everything. My mission was to find him and take him out. He seemed a easy target but the problem was that I had to make a very clean job. In and out with no witnesses. I chalked out a plan in my head and went to bed. The Basu cooking wonderful was not agreeing well with my stomach. No wonder in my brief it was mentioned 'BEWARE OF GAS'.

Ohhh damn it..... my superior is calling me. I have to report in. Will write more... the story has just started so stay hooked on to this I'LL BE BACK........
 

ITS SHAKING BABY: Earthquake mischief in Kolkata

While talking about future budget plans with my boss someone form the next department comes rushing in "Earthquake Earthquake the chair seriously shook I tell you". We were so engrossed that we gave her a blank smile and didn't pay much heed to her. Our chairs didn´t shake a bit how come her`s did. Ahem... the last few words didn't come out right.

Well I was thinking a big truck was behind all this chaos but as I logged into Facebook......I found 20 posts with the word EARTHQUAKE. Well that was quick. I think this baby sign of calamity gave office goers a chance to log into Facebook and Twitter and inform their loved and dear ones "BABY ITS SHAKING". Oh and now there are posts that says "DID YOU GUYS FEEL IT!!!". All these office executives are leaving office early that's for sure.

But on a serious note the regular hail storm, rain and lightning are not being civil anymore and to join the club now comes earthquake in Kolkata. Well I don't want the world to come to an end it should still live for another 100 years so that my future imbecile great grand children can go down with it if they want. I will just say  " Dear ones I tried, I tried to save the world by supporting Al Gore and Greenpeace but then what the hell am I suppose to do if the bloody earthquakes make mischief. "



For those who wants to know more about the mischievous earthquake visit
http://www.incois.gov.in/DSSProducts/Product_NTWC/dss120411083800_index_NTWC_pub.htm



OHHHH Shit now its really scary People please listen and listen carefully a TSUNAMI alert has been declared which is to hit at 3:46pm. Kolkata Metro service has been stopped and people in Rajarhat and Saltlake offices are all out on the street. If it shakes one more time I tell you man ....... there will be no man left. DONT PANIC but dont be TOO LAZZYYYY also. More updates to come in......if there is any.




Ahhhhhhhhhhh Relief.. No threat of Tsunami. Well Union Home Secretary RK Singh says so. Got it over with people now please get inside your office and stop SHAKING..... Oh and one more thing what a lovely cloudy weather all my dear Bengali Lover boys get your pen and paper out and get cracking....

Sleeping Editors make Kolkata Itch

" A tweet by @iPoonampandey was reproduced in t2 on March 19 because of a technical error. The Telegraph had no intention to hurt the sentiments of any community. We apologise for publishing the tweet. "

What a load of crap. How can a newspaper print a tweet without putting it under the editorial inspection in the first place? Either the editorial team was sleeping or they thought it’s quite hep to print something this nonsensical. I am not dumb enough to link it or post it in spite of the fact that this is my personal blog. Furthermore there is conscious effort in killing the story about the protest that brewed from it in Kolkata tonight. No information means more chaos Media should know that better. And furthermore the national news channels are killing this news too. Just because some media friend did a mistake and that erupted into a riot like situation in Kolkata (Park Circus Area) doesn't mean you stop making news out of it. One needs transparency in media. But in one way it’s good that the stupid media people (Since they have themselves proved their stupidity) are not taking up this story. God knows what they would have done. For 30 years my father was a journalist. He taught me to criticise media and not takes it in its face value. It is sad that tremendous hard work that he had done in his career today stands disgraced. Yes I agree there is lot of pressure on people in the news house but that doesn’t mean that you completely lose your mind .On top of all this they put up an apology like this (above mentioned). The apology should have been.

" A tweet by @iPoonampandey was reproduced in t2 on March 19 because of a technical error. The Telegraph had no intention to hurt the sentiments of any community. We apologise for publishing the tweet and we have sacked the team who are behind this negligence. "

Models are a beauty queen that’s their job they should not be made into opinion leaders. In today’s world superstars are made within seconds but they are superstars only in their business. Don’t make them Gods in things where they have no credibility. Hope this post finds more voices thus making it loud and clear and instead of firing innocents the media house that is The Telegraph (I don't need to politicaly correct here like our Chief Minister Mamta Banerjee who couldn't even take The Telegraphs name as if it was Lord Voldermort) should start firing those over paid fat baffoons from their cushy cabins and throw them into the street.