Thursday, 12 December 2013

THE NATURAL AND THE UNNATARUAL HOLES OF INDIA

"Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with imprisonment for life, or with imprisonment of either description for term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine."
                                                                                                       IPC Chapter XVI Sections 377
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------said some Britisher

We were too tired or lazy to create our own Indian Penal Code. We were even more lazy while we were writing the constitution. So we borrowed and misinterpreted certain things and created a mess out of it. After all we love big fat books but we also love to create them with copy paste commands.

But well atleast we have a constitution and we have a penal code and they are not that bad after all. It works at times but then on few occasions when it fails it fails miserably .

Carnal intercourse between a human and an animal can truly be a criminal offence since the intercourse will not be consensual from the animal's side atleast. A bird dosent go humping a koala bear (ironically some scientists do fantasises about it just for the kicks of it and gets heavily funded for the said purpose). This part of the code is quite a good one cause it protects animals from getting funny sensations up their holes.

What happens when its a man-man woman-woman situation. Vatican said dont go humping the wrong hole or Jesus will be very angry. Jesus is very angry cause some clergies lifted their robe, got themselves a hard on and shoved it inside some children's ass. OUCH! thats just soo wrong in so many levels. Vatican is really struggling to put a leash on those naughty raunchy clergies. Hindu mythology is in a way very dynamic in that nature. Its just that we read it from the wrong end and in case of Islam we read too much into it.

But since dawn of society it was told that you need to survive so you have to produce babies and well you cant actually produce babies without mixing the right ingredients. So we all joined in and WOW! GOOD YUMMY DELICIOUS SEX happened. We were so excited with the possibility of our talents that we wrote bestseller manuals about it in India. The confines of four walls shared by a man and a women became very exciting. Since majority were doing it we thought thats natural. Obviously its natural cause a pole can only be fixed in hole. Question is which one is the natural one.  But God gave us multiple ones. Each has their own primary function but we thought what the heck lets just stick it in and see how it feels.
Parallely we were discovering the whole idea of LOVE and our human capacity to love. Once we figured that out we again categorised the idea and put it paper and made things official.

But after we did that we saw what the fuck man! a guy is kissing a guy and they are putting their dicks to the other ones ass and oh my god they are enjoying it. Well I dont think Jesus or Mohamed or our range of Indian celibate high priests got to see many gay people so they never much took up the subject. The later guardians of religions peeked around and they saw it. I can imagine the shock. But these guardians only saw the sexual act they never saw the intensity of the foreplay which actually comes from LOVE. So without knowing the whole story these guardians rushed back and scribbled out that this type of sex is a crime. Once written and propagated among the mass what did the public understand?  That since its a crime they can take the law in their own hand and correct this. They went ahead and did exactly that and keeps on doing it till now.

Like we were coming up with ideas (mostly wrong ideas) about the universe and human beings and social norms we were also thinking of why do a guy love a guy and a girl a girl. the guy - guy thing was disgusting to the patriarchs. The girl girl thing on the other hand ...well people just loved the whole concept. But then they thought fuck! what about me, girls can keep on doing it to themselves as long as my dick features somewhere in between. Afterall men will be men.

A man fell in love with another man. Both human both a part of the society both somebodies son friend brother etc. Both felt very happy when they saw each other and felt week in the knees when their hands touched for the first time. Now thats symptoms of Love i guess. And if this emotion exists within the society then its a part of it, as a matter of fact its a part of the culture. Once globalisation started the minority became a considerable number of people within the society which was not a negligible amount. Clashes happened things got out of hand hate crimes correctional rape all those shits came in.

Faggot jokes were and are common and sometimes quite funny and it is hard to stop it. But atleast with the passing of time things were becoming slightly sensible. Heteros homos trannys everybody was slowly realising that they were sitting next to each other, and they thought well why not stop disturbing each other and just get on with our lives. There was one little problem to this utopic idea that was that except for the hetero rest were all criminals. The hetero surely felt like Jesus being put up with two other classes of criminals in the same miserable spot. But still faced with reality the hetero patriarch became tolerant and took things into their own hand and said you guys are not criminals.

Then came the three idiots.

Om Prakash Singhal, Maulana Kalbe Jawwad and Rev Paul Swarup.








What they said were sooo meaningless and so historically and politically incorrect that it makes you wonder whether there is anything inside their head.

For Om Prakash Singhal: Read the bloody Indian mythological and religious text and read it properly. Cause our culture is truely based on it and Homosexuality is a part of it.

For Maulana Kalbe Jawwad: You win the first prize in proclaiming that you are an idiot of the highest order. Sonia Gandhi (ITALIAN) didnt bring homosexuality in India. (My bad if i got the Italian metaphor wrong). Plus how about this... HINDUISM, ISLAM, CHRISTIANITY were all IMPORTED to this land that we all rightfully claim to be our mother land.

And finally Rev Paul Swarup lets talk paedophilia and bad dance moves of Britney Spears (which Pope Paul II surely must have seen to be able to comment on that). And Supreme court didnt endorse your scriptures my dear mortal. Oh i would love to seat with you over some Jesus blood and discuss this matter through. (you are paying for the wine by the way)

Even though these idiots instigated the matter, what the supreme court of India did was correct a legal flaw. Delhi High Court had gone out of its way to rule a verdict which in our copy paste constitution is not allowed. The decision has to come from the public then presented in the parliament and then if the law is amended then and then only a ruling of such nature can be given by the judiciary.

Thus a request to LGBT activists... the movement needs to be also directed towards the executive legislative and judiciary people so that they are aware of what reality is. Cause inside there bulletproof reindeer like cars and govt. mansions they are not aware of it. Plus get the British judiciary to comment on this cause even though those buggers wrote it they themselves had changed their own laws back in 1966. Our kings still likes to lick asses which are cleaned with tissue papers so maybe they might listen to the fair skin ex masters.

The past cannot be changed but its the future that needs to change. This law must be amended not only to acknowledge LGBT rights but to acknowledge the basic human right to fall in love and to engage in consensual act of love making. Homosexuality is not a matter of choice but homophobia is a choice and thats where we are going wrong today.